Pip repeatedly assures the reader that he loves Estella, but he also says this:
"And still I stood looking at the house, thinking how happy I should be if I lived there with her, and knowing that I never was happy with her, but always miserable." (pg. 252)
*I want to call dibs on this for my passage(s)!
This is such a thought-provoking quote. How can Pip have such conflicting feelings for this wretched girl? He loves her so passionately, but she constantly makes him feel bad about himself. Perhaps it is because he is conscious of how easily she could break his heart but she chooses not to; rather, she feels nothing for him, and it is because of her free will that he is still allowed to express his unrequited affections.
If I were to put their relationship into a modern-day scenario, I would describe Estella as a celebrity and Pip as the president of her fan club. When he has the chance to meet her, he is in awe of her stardom. Basically, he is in love with the image of her, but not necessarily her personality.
Still, this analogy is flawed. All we know of Estella is that she is nasty, because she was raised to be nasty to men, but there has to be more to her nature. She's a Dickens' character after all; they have multiple layers. Also, Pip is more than just her #1 fan. There's more affection than that. It's too complicated to understand, especially for someone like myself, who hasn't experienced the kind of love Pip has for Estella.
What is love, anyway? A dictionary definition would read something like: a deep affection for someone or something. In the case of Pip, there would be a mention about passion, but I still don't feel as if my question has been answered. I've read it described as an intense and intimate connection, where the person in love would do anything for the other.
So then what makes a person love another? The ideal answer would be the loved person's personality. Yet even Pip will agree that Estella isn't the nicest person. Is it physical attractiveness? I would hope people are not that shallow. What is it that is driving Pip to the brink?'
Maybe my musings are singular** in nature, but if you also wonder about this, share your comments!
**This word is also used a lot in GE, proof the Pip is infiltrating my vocab!